Monday, February 13, 2012
In response to your question...
Yes it is difficult.
It has never been easy
And now I am holding back.
I admit that
This has been the case since our very first encounter.
But really,
How could I not?
How silly would I be to let you consume me
Let you have every bit of my energy
Let you be preserved in history
As my tragedy.
For you will be nothing more.
I've seen this all before.
We all have.
You're very aware of what you have in me.
You see pure love in my artistry
Felt it while you rocked me to sleep
And I will forever be a mystery
Never fully uncovered.
You ran to me
Hoping to be my lover and
For a moment
Nothing existed but us.
But
Sentimental Mood's caressing my eardrums
As I write us back into
This time
This place
Tracing over truth with ink
So you can't miss its face.
In your current state
My obsession would be a waste.
3 A.M.
Dazed
Dozing as I rode next to you.
Whizzing past snow-covered skyscrapers
as tall as my anxiety.
And I wondered what you were thinking.
Eyes closed.
I can't recall what I was dreaming
as you brought me back to consciousness.
Our destination reached.
At that point
my imaginings were blurring with our reality.
You waited wearily as I touched water.
I think it washed away my fear
Refreshed my femininity.
You saw that, right?
Towel-dried. Dressed.
And damn
you held me so tight.
We both found that moment surreal.
Though we never spoke it
we were aching
dying to really feel
Taste lips
Smell natural incense
Surrender to this intensity.
You and me wanted ...
we wanted
everything.
You remember how it all started?
The power of hand palming neck.
Electricity you sent through me
And I purred quietly.
Arching feline back
so that our bodies would make contact
on fragile skin.
Elongated limbs
Breath on collarbone
Arm between hills
rising and falling with the wind.
That power in your hand sent us whirling
into desert lands of no return.
Your eyes were flesh-thirsty
And I was the prey of your daydreams.
On that night
I became the real thing.
So real
that you can taste me as you read this.
But no worries.
I won't tell all our secrets.
What If
What if I told you they didn't love you
and never did?
What if I showed you your reflection?
What if I left without a detection
and never returned?
What if I set fire to the rain
and watched it burn?
Would you learn?
Would you learn?
What if you knew what I'd done?
What if you worked only through the Son?
What if he'd done it to you?
What if you told THEM what to do?
What if our love was truly unconditional?
And what if the pain was fictional?
Would I still be pigeon-holed into this role?
Would I then be free to grow?
Friday, February 10, 2012
Foot Race
The whistle blows and
Reality awakens me to the rush
that surrounds my stillness.
Heart yellowed with illness at my own self.
I am unable to identify with those
that stand with me.
The lonely pace of rest.
Been real down lately cuz my legs can't seem to move.
And there goes my finish line clearly ahead.
Spectators cheering me
and charging with full weight.
Still I just
can't
move.
I run real fast in my dreams.
Gliding swiftly past
old songs, past loves, and unfinished poetry.
Kicking up all kinds of dust onto the old me.
Sprinting with life, liberty, and harmony
Where I'm armed with Thee,
Holiest of Spirits
And fear gets trampled into paved streets.
Yet when I awake,
still I remain
Unmoved.
Weakness
Help me God.
Words divinely chosen
Thoughts frozen in future time
when we are both butterflies & you are mine.
Emotions high with anticipation
of this new dynamic.
Old chemistry with a new reaction
Hope they don't see.
I'll keep my eye-talk jumbled
so that they're hard to read.
But please believe they're
writing poetry for you.
Seems to be all i can do
truthfully.
Avoiding getting on my prayer knees.
Expelling thoughts of clarity & peace
cuz that adrenaline rush is what I seek
And the top
Yeah the top is where my weakness peaks.
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