dimmed Sunshine in my life.
electric yellow hues
cloaked in translucent off-black.
i need those rays back.
i once wrote of
horizontal stripes emblazoned upon my fingers
on my belly.
the blinds & the Sun did that.
there was a time i sang of walking into the Sun
& tasting possibility.
limitless.
kinetic.
infinity.
Sun was movement for me.
it was rebirth after repentant evenings.
it was spring summer feeling.
it was new love & old love
renewed.
it was spirit food.
i could close my eyes
& in my mind
grab a lawn chair for an up front view.
close up.
smile glistening with that summer glow.
words caressing my lips with that summer flow.
now where did my summer go?
even if my current mind was surrounded by june
my summer Sun would look more like the moon
hazy gray
or maybe powdery blue.
smiles now a direct relation of
tidal oscillation, phases, & amplitude.
nowadays it ain’t uncommon to see my
lips spread wide
teeth shining bright
while my eyes are singing the blues.
reflecting the light of dusk
in the deep rumbling hum of my womb
as my round cheeks
protrude rouge.
a drag in my shoes.
useless
circling blindfolded in search of a muse.
it used to be the stars.
in fact
one in particular
she and i had a most intimate kind of contact.
others named her Sun.
i named her Life Source.
and now all i ask for
is my life back.
