For my own sorrows
my heart is heavy.
I don't give a damn what you are going through.
Constantly I'm faced with motivation
but no follow-thru
And 90 lbs later
I'm trying to melt it all away with voodoo
Concocting my anticipated happiness
with cayenne lemon and molasses
And he loves me
but I don't love myself
I felt that if I could turn knobs
I could acquire wealth
But unless I'm at the mic
I'm really only turning my stomach.
Repulsed by the days
and the weeks before May
when I grace that graduation stage
Family from the windiest chillin at Armstrong
dazed by the thousands of smilin faces.
Thought I could replace them by temps
But HU families have ripped my heart
more than my sworn enemies' whips.
At least my foes had been identifiable.
Now "family trips" dance around
awkward bits where
no one knows who's really brother or sis
So I attempt to shrink into nothingness
But I'm hard to miss.
Now after all this is said and done
My 1st solstice spent with degree in heart
shows no promise of independence.
God says don't worship worldly possessions
But She should know I need a place of my own
Alone
I am left with no veil
of my so-called unnatural cravings
My unhealthy addictions
My afflictions
Afraid of what my God will say
I couldn't hear Her anyway
...Leading into my own interpretation
I sway
Rocking back and forth
As teardrops illuminate my pity parade.
But all anyone ever sees of me
Is the life of the party.
Poetic mind and a clown face.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Great imagery, but this is heavy. I hope things have improved somewhat, up to this point. Love ya babygirl.
I love the allusion just in the title. And the content of the poem I greet with a heavy heart because I know some of the turmoil that you discuss. And yes, it seems that we are forced to pretend some things don't bother us, and though we desire to flee the coup we find wings clipped at a time when we are ready to spread far and wide and soar to heights unknown. We shall continue the dance for a little longer but know that God has more waiting for us on the other side of whatever it is She is taking us through.
Post a Comment