Erasing History

Yea I wrote it cuz I thought it
and I thought it cuz I meant it
and I meant it cuz I loved it
and now I've ripped it out of history.
For if a scream resounds with no one to hear,
was there ever a scream at all?
If I slipped and no one saw,
was there ever a fall?
Yea I wrote it cuz I thought it,
or did I even think it at all?

So now I'm ripping out the pages
So I won't get caught.
Feels like I'm 13 again.
Yea I'm ripping out the pages
So I can't get caught.
Hiding from all that I've been.

I thought I ripped out all the pages
but I missed a few.
And a few more are being written everyday.
Flipping through old pages,
I came across two.
I thought those memories had been erased.
But suppression and erasure aren't synonymous
and people's thoughts are like ROM files.
Not only do I remember the sweat, blood & tears,
but I remember the love & the smiles.

I set me a time-bomb many years back,
and the ticking is coming to an end.
I've been running like hell from all that I was
but this explosion will show all that I've been.

And now I'm living out these last few days,
the weeks & maybe even a year.
Yea I'm livin it up for old time's sake
but inside, there's nothing but fear.
Who knows if THIS poem will even last the day,
it may never reach an eye or an ear...